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Are you working towards something and frustrated with where you’re at? Do you keep thinking that you should be ‘further along’ than where you currently are?

If the answer is a yes, this blog post is geared towards you.

We human beings are an increasingly impatient race. How often do we find ourselves losing our temper because something isn’t exactly how we envisioned? Let’s see a show of hands….yep thought so, me included. We are so used to getting things on demand that when we work towards something, we demand instant satisfaction so I don’t blame any one of us for getting confused and frustrated when trying to attain something that doesn’t follow the on-demand narrative.

Take losing weight for example. My god, how frustrating is it to lose weight! Especially when, if you’re anything like me, you enjoy getting intimate with cake (mind out of the gutter please, this isn’t American Pie!). You see, that’s just one example of a goal that is anything but on demand and it isn’t a linear path to success either! Lots of ups, downs and nights crying into a tub of ben and jerry’s cookie dough wondering why it’s so hard!

Trust me, I’m struggling with this at the moment. Me and the missus are currently getting things sorted for our move to Singapore, and we thought we had got things sorted so we can relax up to the big day. But, lo-and-behold, more admin duties arise because god forbid, we shouldn’t let Dominos pizza know we’ve changed address!

Right, that’s enough ranting. If you are working towards a goal and feel that you should be making more progress, read my tips below that have been helping me, so hopefully you get value from them too.

1. Realise That Any Action at All Is Better Than No Action.

When water doesn’t flow, it stagnates. Without action, you will too. A little action every day will work wonders towards your goals. It doesn’t have to be a marathon 9-hour session but can be as little as 15-30 minutes, as long as you are consistent (daily, or almost). Who knows what spark might happen in that time? Even if this action leads you to a point where you are no closer to your goal, at least you can learn from that and not do it again. From there, progress is made. Imagine if no action was taken. You wouldn’t have the knowledge acquired by actually putting things into practice. This is especially helpful in exorcising any demons that may haunt you when you believe you’re not making any progress.

2. Set SMART Goals to Ensure You Are On Track.

Ensuring your goals are SMART will give you a greater chance of accomplishing them. Smart stands for:

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Realistic
Time-bound

If a goal is vague rather than specific, how are you going to fully know you have achieved what you set out to? Make sure to define clear goals with clear milestones to achieve along the way. Each milestone, for example, could be what you specifically want to achieve at the end of each month or by your next birthday.

Is your goal measurable? In other words, can you track your progress? Can you quantify it? For example, if you have a vague goal of I want to sell more stuff. That can’t be properly quantified as a measurable goal. Whereas if your goal is to sell 200 t -shirts by 25^th August of that year, that is a quantifiable goal as you have a number to measure your progress against.

Attainability or achievability, is a must-have for goal setting. What’s the point in setting a goal if it’s not attainable? You’re just not going to be motivated enough to go for it if you know you are doomed from the beginning. A silly, unattainable goal (for arguments sake) would be “My goal is to write an entire novel by tomorrow” whereas a more attainable goal would be “To brainstorm some ideas for my novel by 8pm tomorrow and shortlist my favourites” this is much more attainable and specific too (i.e. the deadline), which will lead to the next goal and the next, until the ultimate goal of completing the novel is achieved. Conversely, if a goal is too easily attainable your motivation to achieve will be low, because you won’t have to work hard towards it. Set yourself a goal that is a reasonable challenge.

Realistic. Similar to the above notion of attainability. Is this goal of yours seriously realistic to you personally? Do you have, or can you develop the skillset needed to accomplish what you need? Making goals that are realistic to you as an individual will ensure you stay more focussed and motivated.

Time-bound. Can the goal be achieved within a specific timeframe? Let’s face it, deadlines are a kind of love-hate relationship but I would say we all need them. Deadlines ensure there’s just enough pressure on us to accomplish a task. Without them, we’ll most likely just ignore the work we’re meant to be doing and will spend our waking hours watching fail compilations on YouTube. An example would be “By 10pm tonight I will have completed……….”, write it down if you need to as a reminder. Just make sure that you stick to it.

3. Feeling Like You’re Floundering is Normal.

Things take time. The path to success is hardly ever linear and straight forward. It’s often a roller-coaster with highs, lows, tears and hair pulling. It is completely normal to feel like you are floundering but don’t worry. It’s part of the process to feel like this and believe you’re not progressing. Does a body builder get ripped overnight? Nope. Does a body builder see results after a month? Hhhmmm maybe a tiny bit. Does the body builder see results after 6 months of consistent daily work towards his goal? Yep! You wouldn’t believe the amount of people who attempt to achieve something only to get disheartened when they don’t see immediate success. Keep at it, and you will see progress.

4. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

This one is quite possibly the biggest dream killer, followed very closely by the bonus tip below. We are all on our own individual journey in this world, and yes people come and go along the way. However, to compare your progress to someone else’s is a great exercise in time wasting that serves no one and takes the focus from you and what you are meant to be working towards. So-what if someone already has a travel blog? So-what if Dave from next door has just bought a new Audi? And so-what that someone you know has just passed their driving test first time and you are on your third attempt. Keep your eyes on the prize and keep……. moving………forward.

Bonus Tip: Don’t Listen to the Naysayers.

Ah, other people. Aren’t they just the best! Well, no, not all the time they’re not. Far from it to be honest. Other people can be dream killers. How many times have you heard the story where someone has a passion that they want to pursue, only for their parents to disapprove and coerce them onto something more ‘acceptable’ or how about those who have started a new business venture only to be told it won’t work by people who are jealous and are threatened by other people’s dedication.

Finding people who are supportive can be a challenge too, especially if friends and family are a no-go. Try to search for groups on Facebook or meetup.com etc, or anywhere you believe people congregate, and chat to people who are on a similar journey to you. To bring the body building example back again, you can seek out forums to gain hints, tips and motivation. If your goal is to get the best-looking flowerbed in the region there will be groups online or locally. Seek these people out because knowing that there are other people on a similar journey to you is a relieving feeling and validates your goals that little bit more.

I get it though, caring about what other people think is natural but is something that you have to practice avoiding. The more you care about what other people think, the more insecure you will be in your own judgement and the more your goal will either become THEIR goal or it won’t manifest into anything at all. This will ensure that you don’t progress, and that’s a bad thing.

You need to worry about what YOU are doing. If you choose to think about things negatively then that is what you will get and you will most likely fail in your quest. Practice daily to think about things positively instead, and that you will achieve what you set out to, even if it takes longer than you wanted.

OK, so I’m rambling, again. In essence, what I’m trying to say is, stick to your guns. Work for what you want in this life and as long as you take consistent action, you have a greater chance of success and this will take your mind off thinking if you are far enough along, because you will be more content.

Stay Confident,

Luke.

If you enjoyed reading this blog post, check out my other posts concerning other confidence related matters.

Hello there fellow travel enthusiast or travel enthusiast to-be, or maybe even, person who just stumbled on this blog looking for something to read. I want to ask you an honest question: Have you ever wondered what is over the horizon from where you currently live? Or have you always wanted to visit somewhere but for some reason you just never did? Maybe you saw a picture of somewhere online or on a post card and thought ‘I really want to go there!’ Those azure seas met with white beaches lined with palm trees or vast wildernesses with incredible wildlife that you only ever see on T.V. Of course, you did! Everyone is like that.

However, not everybody does it, primarily due to a lack of confidence or money. As long as you have a job, the money side of this equation is fairly easily solvable, but what about the confidence building side? Quite often, buying the ticket can be the hardest part (especially for us Yorkshire folk who are notoriously tight-fisted with money, am i right fellas!) as you are paying to put yourself into the unknown, and the mere thought of getting on a plane can be daunting. But once you have the ticket bought you can rest assured that things are going to drastically change for your confidence levels from here on.

Develops You as a Person

Travelling is a first-class ticket out of your comfort zone. It may even be the first time you have gotten on a plane, train or boat.
You are going somewhere unfamiliar and that is both slightly terrifying and exciting. You are met with all manner of situations that mould you into a different person, making you more adaptable as you cope in different environments and situations, e.g when staying in a hostel room with 11 other people, when getting lost in an unfamiliar city, or simply navigating the tube system. This familiarity with the unknown helps you assess new experiences confidently where others may crumble.

You are Always Learning

Culture makes up a big part of why countries are the way they are and how people act and think and interact with each other. Learning about the culture of the country you are visiting broadens your knowledge and gives you opportunities to take part in cultural practices. A great example of this is La Tomatina, the Spanish festival where tomatoes are thrown at each other. Yes, it’s a waste of food but it does look a lot of fun. There’s also the chance to learn about cultural and historical heroes, or to learn about the history and geography of the region you are in by visiting galleries and museums. This all allows you to be more confident in conversations regarding the places and practices you experience, as you have actively lived them.

You are Always Exploring

The sun is shining, you’re up early, you’ve got your sun screen on and have a map in hand (old school). You are ready to leave your hotel/hostel/Airbnb to start a day of new sounds, smells and experiences. This spark of intrigue makes you feel like a kid again and it’s exciting. Dating back to early explorers who would venture out for months on-end on a ship, we still get a kick out of exploration and looking to see ‘what’s over there?’

Travelling Makes You More Interesting

Having all these experiences not only broadens your mind and horizons, but they also give you stories to tell people. These stories can be told to fellow travelers along your journey or people who hang on your every word once you are back home. Just imagine the look on people’s faces when you tell them you snorkeled on the Great Barrier Reef, or trekked through a jungle in Indonesia, or even visited an island overrun with cats! You could very well inspire others to travel as a result of your photos and stories. People who travel as a result of your stories puts you as a story-telling figurehead and they may often come to you with questions on best places to visit, or how to make preparations for travelling. How much more confident do you reckon you would be if you knew people looked to you for advice and information?

Meeting New People

This is one of my favourites. This world is made up of all manner of people with different upbringings, cultures, viewpoints on life and communicating with as many different people as possible will develop your communicative skills (especially when speaking to people whose native language isn’t your own) to the point where the people you left back home won’t recognise this new version of you, and that’s a good thing. Self-development ensures we change into better versions of ourselves. There’s a very real chance you will make friends for life at every single place you stop at, ensuring you stay there long enough to talk to people in some depth. Having friends from all over the world is enriching, improves communicative confidence and ensures you have a couch to sleep on whenever you are in the neighborhood, saving you $$$ on hotels.

 Independence

Once we become ‘know-it-all’ teenagers we pretty much want to have our own independence, right? Well, when travelling you are all you have for the most part and every decision (or most of them if travelling with a buddy) is yours. Where to eat, where to visit, who to talk to, it’s all up to you. This can be a little daunting at first but nothing builds confidence quite like independence and self-reliance. See! you can be in charge. You probably just didn’t realise you had it in you.

Summary

In summary, what will travelling do for your confidence levels?
Well, you are out of your comfort zone, you’re making decisions for yourself and communicating with all sorts of people, from bargaining prices with street vendors to socialising with strangers. You are going to unfamiliar places alone, bonding and friendship building with people along the way. You are dealing with money and possibly holding a job, adding further responsibility to your confidence building CV. All of these experiences add up and develop your confidence beyond measure. Now, grab that passport that’s gathering dust and go change yourself for the better.

Stay Confident,

Luke

If you got value from this post, feel free to share this with your friends and family. Plus, check out the other blog posts on this website covering other confidence related subjects.

The dreaded 9-5 eh! Or maybe not so dreaded, it’s up to you. We all have our opinions on work and that’s great, we all have to work someway or the other, but my god! It can very easily come between you and your passions and hobbies. Making time for extra curricular activities can easily become a pain after spending 8 hours in a place that doesn’t contribute to your goals, dreams and desires. Many of us feel deflated after a 9-5 and I’m with you. Confidence Unleashed is my side project that I have to make time for at the beginning or end of a long day and believe me, the temptation to sit down and chill to watch the Simpsons on channel 4 is a hard fight.

Alas, if we are to achieve what we want to achieve in this life we must be proactive and put the work in. Which is why to help with this dilemma, I have compiled 7 of my best ways to ensure I smash my goals (short and long term) even though that pesky day job gets in the way for 8 hours (usually). So, we’ve clocked in and you have your morning coffee. The clock strikes 9am so let’s get to it.

1. Get Out of Bed at Least Half an Hour Earlier Than You Usually Do.

For me, there’s nothing worse on a morning than your alarm going off and you immediately have to get out of bed and get to work. Rather, take some time to ‘come round’ in the morning, ease out of bed and start working on your goals. Being productive in the morning before you get to work makes you feel better because you are actively working towards something that means a lot to you, one small step at a time. Small steps towards your goals are definitely better than not working on them at all. An example I use to help the morning transition is to set my Alexa. Yes, I’m one of those guys who has one, and I set my alarm on it to play Smooth radio. This station plays more relaxed, but upbeat music which really helps with waking up gradually (instead of jarringly) and allows you to feel more relaxed when the push to get out of bed arrives.

2. Think of the End Goal

This is a biggie and thoroughly deserves a mention. When you are working towards something it is most often a long term goal that is hard to appreciate when the progress is slow and gradual. As long as you persistently work towards your goal, even 10 minutes a day, you will get there far quicker than someone who gives up!
We all fall by the way-side, more than once as well. The key is to not lose sight of your end goal and keep going.
The first example that comes to my mind is when you see those bronzed Adonises and Grecian queens on the front cover of every magazine who inconveniently smile at you while you wait in line to buy your stuffed crust pizza at your local super market. Getting to that level of aesthetic for your body takes a lot of time and dedication, so you are not going to see results straight away. However, that doesn’t stop us from getting demotivated when we don’t see results after three weeks. You really need to keep at it, through trials and tribulations and you will get there.

3. Ensure You Are Productive With Your Time.

The feeling of being productive is addictive. I don’t know about you, but if I sit and watch videos on YouTube all day (you know the ones, fail compilations, let’s plays, and ‘See what happens when…..’) I end up feeling crap! Why? Because I haven’t worked towards my goals or anything that has really benefited me or my situation.
The minute I start being productive and completing small tasks that help me tick off short/long term goals, I immediately feel better about everything in general and I want to carry on. Writing this post now is making me feel great because I’m doing something I enjoy and adding value to people (hopefully) makes me happy.
Try to find even ten minutes in your day to add towards completing a task that’s important to you. You don’t have to dedicate hours.
An added benefit to feeling great after being productive is you approach life a little differently. If someone wanted to talk to you about something and you were annoyed at yourself for not working towards your goals, how will you react to that situation compared to when you have spared 20 minutes to work on something productive? You will be a lot more relaxed and approachable and the other person will come away from the encounter better off.

4. Remember That Procrastination is the Enemy.

Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, dog. You name it, and it can easily distract you, especially if you are stuck at a certain point on your journey towards goal accomplishment, and it’s oh so easy to procrastinate and take a trip down the rabbit hole of ‘Let’s play’ videos (for you gamers out there) and before you know it, it’s midnight and you have nothing to show for your evening.
Don’t worry though, we’ve all been there, otherwise it wouldn’t be in this blog. Picture, in your mind’s eye, what the end goal will look like (or your best guess) and try to feel what it will feel like to achieve this goal you have set. Remember those images and feelings and in times of procrastination, go back to those images and feelings and tell yourself that you will experience it in reality. It is a great way to readjust onto your correct path.
A very simple but very effective example to accompany this point could be to write the word ‘Remember’ on a post-it note and have it stuck somewhere in your eye-line in your room, or your house. When you see it, it will act as a gentle reminder to crack on and put some time into your goals and aspirations, because it won’t come to you, you have to work for it.

5. Have Something to Look Forward to.

Have something to look forward to on an evening (a sort of ritual, maybe) in order to keep your spirits high. Examples of this could be looking forward to a beer when you get home, a particular meal you are preparing, walking the dog along your favourite scenic route, a phone call to your parents or siblings, going to the cinema. Anything you can use to keep happy is useful, it doesn’t matter how silly, as long as it works for you.
Motivation, like most things in life, comes in peaks and troughs and keeping motivated is a real skill, especially when surrounded by distraction. That’s why keeping yourself happy, or at least content with life is extremely important. The lower your motivation, the less likely you are going to be bothered doing anything you don’t have to.
Nothing kills your progress quite like demotivation.

6. Realise That You are Only at Your Job For 8 Hours (typically).

Feel free to replace ‘8’ with the hours you tend to work, so as to apply this to yourself.

This one was explained to me by a great friend of mine who I work with. He told me that we are only at our day-jobs for 8 hours (for most of us) out of the total 24, so make the most of the remaining 16 hours, and there is no point getting worked up about what amounts to a third of your total day. It’s such a shame that we often allow (myself more than included in this) that one third of our day to dictate how we feel about the remaining two thirds.
This is easier than it sounds, though. As 8 hours is still a long enough time to be doing something you don’t want to be, but a small mind-set change like this can greatly help you retain mental composure and keep you mentally healthy for working on the things you actually want to when you get home.

7. Tell Yourself That You Will Rest………….. Tomorrow.

This is a little trick I often use. Tell yourself that you will work on your goals today and you will reward yourself by resting tomorrow. I guarantee, that most of the time you will be so proud that you worked towards your goals that you will do it the next day also, and the next day and the day after that, with the same promise to rest the next day. Of course, eventually you will rest because you really need to, but mostly you will keep up that great, productive feeling going while the momentum is high.

The 9-5 grind is an especially hard obstacle to overcome, especially if you find it draining by the time you leave for the day, only ever-deflated in the knowledge that you will do it all over again the next day, eagerly counting down to the weekend. But, this list should help you in some small way to ensuring you fit your goals and aspirations into your daily life so that you eventually achieve them. I sincerely hope you do.

Stay Confident,

Luke (Confidence Unleashed).

I know this site is called Confidence Unleashed, but let’s be honest, gyms (that’s gymnasiums for some of us older types) can be a hotbed of testosterone, grunts and groans of torture, ego and sweat, which is a no-no for some (probably most!) and I don’t blame you. We’ll work up to the sort of mindsets that will help with surviving and conquering places such as the gym, but for now, we’ve taken a look at how much a gym membership costs, gasped! And decided to go without. However, you still want to improve your body image so what do you do? Well, the rest of this post will address the four main ways I went about improving my body without a gym membership.
I should mention that I currently do have a gym membership, but when I didn’t, these tips helped me the most. Also, by no means am I a fitness expert. If you are unsure about whether doing exercise is safe for you, please consult your doctor.

1. Exercise at home.

Yes, the gym has all the fancy equipment and can pretty much cater to any muscle you want to work on, but there are a host of exercises that you can do in the living room/ garden/garage/ bedroom 😉 that can have a great affect. Due to the fact you are at home and have minimal equipment you will be doing body weight exercises. My favourites are body-weight squats, press ups (push ups for Americans), kettlebell exercises and high intensity cardio in the form of sprinting on the spot and mountain climbers. There’s so much more you can add to your arsenal but I find the above, do me just fine and get the heart racing.

2. Drink Water.

This one is imperative but seems to go under the radar. Take a quick think about how much water you drink each day. Do you always have a drink by your side at your desk or do you neglect this translucent nectar until you get home or when you get really thirsty? The recommended daily intake of water is eight 8 ounce glasses for the average person (healthline.com). Of course it’s more individualistic than this due to your sex, your level of activity and whether you live in warmer climes etc but as a good start, the 8×8 rule is great. Can I just say, though, that you shouldn’t force feed yourself water until you become bloated, take any subtle hints from your body. If you feel a little thirsty, have a glass of water, simple right?
This allows your body to function better as your metabolic rate will increase, your joints will be well lubricated (making the exercises mentioned above easier and reduce likelihood of pain), improves skin complexion making your skin look and feel younger, and generally allows your body to function better.

Extra top tip! If you find water rather boring, try cutting up pieces of fruits such as lemons, limes, strawberries and melons and putting them into your glass of water to make a refreshing drink.

Photo by Kaizen Nguyen on Unsplash

3. Increase vegetable intake.

Ah vegetables, the bane of many children’s lives. All those hours spent by parents fighting the futile battle of getting their kids to eat their veggies is one that is worthwhile. We all know that vegetables are good for our health, but for the most part they don’t taste all that great compared to the take-away kings such as pizza, burgers and a kebab. Personally, I love vegetables and have them with 99% of my meals. Broccoli is BY FAR the king of veggies for me, PACKED with nutrients and goes well in salads, stir-fries and soups, so it’s very versatile. Other great veggies include carrots, garden peas, cabbage, spinach and sweet potatoes. Told you I have them with 99% of my meals! Why not try including more vegetables into your diet. Play with different combinations to accompany some chicken? Another thing I like to do is sprinkle some herbs and/or spices over vegetables, such as Italian herb mixes and paprika (available in most large supermarkets). This isn’t to everyone’s taste but have fun and give it a go, you never know what masterful combination you may come up with.

4. Sleep.

May seem like a random one this, but hear me out. Have you ever had a poor night’s sleep and woken up tired, fed up and unmotivated? Yep! We all have. Sleep is the time in which your body rests and repairs itself ready for the vigour that the next day may bring.
Let’s say you have been doing your exercises at home for a few days or weeks now, you’re feeling good that you are working towards your health goals and your motivation is through the roof. However, you’re not getting enough sleep, which can be anything from 6 to 8 hours depending on the individual. This can wreak havoc on your body goals as lack of sleep releases more of the stress hormone cortisol, which in turn lowers the level of growth hormones, meaning your muscles and super sleek abs are not developing as much as your efforts would suggest. Plus, with higher levels of stress hormones floating around inside you, you are much less likely to feel motivated to crack on with your exercises and water intake, so make sure you find out what your optimum sleep duration is and do your best to get it every night. Of course you won’t be able to do this ALL the time (late night pub crawl anyone?) but we can let you off for straying from the path sometimes.

5. Patience.

All of the above are, in my opinion, the biggest factors in helping me on my body improvement journey when I didn’t have a gym membership. However, it doesn’t happen overnight. This takes a lot of time, motivation and dedication so you need to be patient. You may not see results until after a month but if you keep at it, you will definitely see them. It is likely that other people will notice your results before you do, as the changes are so slight and will eventually manifest into something large enough that you will then notice. Don’t allow yourself to get disheartened, as the cliché goes ‘anything worth having doesn’t come easy’ and just think of the enormous sense of achievement you will feel when you reach your goal. Who knows, you may even inspire others to reach for the stars too!

I hope that you found some value from this post. If you want to read about more confidence issues and how to overcome them, check out my other blog posts.

Stay Confident,

Luke.

References.

https://www.healthline.com/health/how-much-water-should-I-drink#benefits3